Special post: A Tale of Sir James Wirth-a-Lot

The following is a fun story written by a Real Estate Agent after I was able to rescue a buyer whose financing fell through at the last minute. We completed the transaction from start to finish (application to funding) in 2 business days! We should celebrate our successes, yes?



Once upon a time in the high country of Sammamish lived the Quiet Couple in the Cul-de-sac. The Quiet Couple in the Cul-de-sac loved their little home and their helpful neighbors. But the Quiet Couple in the Cul-de-sac soon became the Quiet Family in the Cul-de-sac, and found their tiny domicile bulging at the seams with nary a nook and cranny for the many little feet abounding from their lovely children. So one day they called Lady Barbara of the Woods in the Lynn, their friendly and always at the ready Signage and Signage Representative (i.e. yard signage and document signage)...:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />


The Lady Barbara happily shouted from the hilltops about the tiny domicile and quickly another fine Signage and Signage Representative of similar Bain descendancy gathered up a domicile seeker and made a hearty agreement with the Quiet Couple in the Cul-de-sac to exchange a very weighty piece of paper for the tiny domicile. Next the Lady Barbara journeyed hither and yon with the Quiet Couple to seek a roomier domicile. And behold! The very perfect much roomier domicile appeared and the Quiet Couple made a hearty agreement with the Rightful Owner of the Roomier Domicile. This south moving couple in a hillside cul-de-sac had a Signage and Signage Representative also of Bain descendancy. The Lady Barbara of the Woods in the Lynn was very happy.


Enlisting the aid of the other Signage and Signage Representatives, Lady Barbara aligned the moon and sun and stars and other galaxies so that all the signing of the very weighty pieces of paper would occur in proximity of calendar, so that all the moving of possessions and taking over of domiciles would happen within three days of each other, and the Quiet Couple in a New Cul-de-sac would be able to wing their way to the Windy City on the day after all the domicile possessioning happened.


Alas! The Quiet Couple in the Cul-de-sac listened very closely to their Signage and Signage Representative on all matters -- except for one very important matter: the Weigher and Giver of the Coins. While the Quiet Couple thought they were doing a good thing, this Weigher and Giver of the Coins was dastardly. Mere days before the carefully timed signing and closing of the weighty papers, the Weigher and Giver of the Coins sent chills down Lady Barbara's spine by declaring: "We have technical difficulties. The Quiet Couple's coin countage is good but we cannot print out the weighty pieces of paper."

"This cannot be true," cried Lady Barbara. "Bring in the Tapper of the Keys and produce the papers in the olden manner." It was not to be.


Hours, a day, and two days passed. Still the Weigher and Giver of the Coins declared themselves unable to print out the papers. The Rightful Owner of the Roomier Domicile cried, "Foul!" The Signage and Signage Representative cried, "Foul!" But since the Representatives were both of the Bain descendancy, many heads and honchos were assembled with the battle cry, "There must be a way!"


The many heads and honchos determined they must inquire of the Knights of the Land-of-all-Over, who were much better at weighing and giving the right coins in a timely fashion. In the meadow they caught sight of an enormous white horse, and the sight stopped most of Lady Barbara's trembling. For seated upon the steed, with sword and shield at the ready, was the Great Sir James Wirth-a-lot!


Sir James lifted high his fist, and shouted, "Let me slay the dragon!"

Sir James swooped down on the Quiet Couple of the Cul-de-sac and the Lady Barbara of the Woods in the Lynn, took hold of the documents and rode off to his special hiding place. Magic made Sir James as large as the legendary Superman. Sir James hunkered down to cast a spell. He sent heralds to alert a bevy of fairy godmothers from the Land-of-all-Over and the E-Pow-wow. Then Sir James toiled day and night. And behold! The Great Sir James gathered plain documents on Friday evening and magically turned them into the weighty pieces of paper for the Quiet Couple to sign by the unbelievable evening of Monday.


Hoorahs were heard throughout the land—all over the land in fact, which is probably why Sir James resides in the Land-of-all-Over. The Quiet Couple made a few adjustments, but were now able to wing their way to the Windy City for their long-planned clan event. Lady Barbara of the Woods in the Lynn now trembled for joy.


Lady Barbara lauds and bows to the Great Sir James Wirth-a-lot!

May the deities shine upon his head and bless him with many children.


--Barbara Tennis, Coldwell Banker Bain

(posted with author's permission)